hazwan

Sunday, February 27, 2005

im worried..
im worried for my future..
wat will i became in days come..months to come..years to come..
ever wonder bout dat?
well...i always wonder bout dis every day...
am i in the right path..or i am goin no where?
sumtimes i jus wish i never grow up..
the older u gets..the more responsibility u hold..
responsibilty huh... a big word..with strong meanings....
u need a strong fundamental to set u goin...its vital..
being somebody its my goal in life...

thanks to my mum n dad who brought me up
mus be tough for dem...
work day n nite to bring home income..
being the only son...its natural for dem to have high hopes on me...
well...i dun tink im doing a good job....
hopefully the table would turn ...
well inspiration needed...

haZwAn
10:07 PM

Saturday, February 26, 2005

congratulations n salutation to ITE CT soccer team for coming up 2nd in the
7- a side West network tournament....
i tink we got a fairly good team to compete in the ITE soccer tournament which is like in 2 months time...
well...had fun during the tournament...
jus dat my boots are torn..bloody ass...y now?
well..my boots had been a great servant to me...but i need a new pair quick..
anybody care to buy for me?
lol...im cash strapped rite now..over budjet..
im spending too much on unnecessary tings..

im freaking tired today...had some cramps n bruises at my leg..
well..till my next post peez..

haZwAn
11:27 PM

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

i tink im goin to paint my walls of my room..
i tink im goin to paint it yellow and blue

haZwAn
11:13 PM

tomolo floorball game is cancelled..
a pity ....
looking foward to the game actually....
well...
i always wanted a stick for myself...so dat i can play around n do some air hooks..
air hooks? lol....
i always wanted to do it..it really set me going when i see people doing it..
hopefully..i can get it right..
well..got to get the basic right first..

surf the net n found some meanigfull quotes...
so here i go sharing it

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.

haZwAn
8:27 PM

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

i many tings in mind dat i want to buy or wish to have...
so here i go creating a shopping list for myself..
(not in order)

1. mp3 player
2. a new pair of shoes...currently jack purcell in mind
3. levis wallet
4. blazzer
5. spy sling bag
6. top man shirt
7. a shoe for running n floorball purposes
8. a Puma bag
9. board shorts
10. a new levis jeans
11. fossils watch
12. a black shoe for work

currently this is wat i got in mind...

haZwAn
9:22 PM

Monday, February 21, 2005

weekend was ok...jus another day out...
jus a boring weekend...with bit of fun here n there..

i tink im goin to buy a blazer in the future...
hmm..blazer sounds cool to me...
i tink it looks nice when u wear it...sumthing different for me..

i got dis sudden urge to run...
lately been running n running...so unlike me...
i dun really like to run...but somehow i got dis urge to run...
ya..so i did run...went running at nite coz it much cooler
the weather is jus getting warmer nowdays..

it jus so perfectly imperfect day..
sometimes u feel ur day would be great...
when your day start out so great, so perfect, it will end up so imperfect...
watever it is...im tired today..
im goin to be tired in days to come...

sumtimes i feel it so inequitable..
but its the way tings are...
it been sucky at times...
sumtimes i tink im goin burst...
vicissitude is a major factor for me

haZwAn
9:57 PM

Friday, February 18, 2005

no class for me today...
but still got to go to sch to attend floorball training...
dun feel like goin at 1st...my head spins like a top....felt so tired..
n its sourching hot outside...
but like it or not i jus feel i need to go...so i drag myself out of bed...
reach sch around 1130...
the weather is touturing...adding to my misery...
we had to train in the court under hot sun...coz the hall is in use...
only a handful turn up...

its had been quite a long time since i hold the stick....
training was rather boring but tings pick up gradually
my floorball mates are rather fun ....personality,character, separtes us but our common interest bond us....
looking foward to a game at dover next week....
looking back over how i pick up floorball....its been great..
i started playing it when i was in sec 4....jus another P.E lesson...
then took it to another level when i join floorball as my 2nd cca at ITE CT..
my debut game was a friendly at NYP...
tings turn out pretty well n manage to slip into the team..
den had my 1st ever floorball tournament...
a memorable one...scored in the 1st game against dover...
finished out 3rd in the grp stages...pretty good for a team who are amatuer..

im feeling rather tired today...

haZwAn
11:56 PM

Thursday, February 17, 2005

i missed those days when i was really happy...
mus be quite some time ago....
...im freaking myself out....
never been like dis b4...so sucky...
tings are like falling apart...
feel like hurling out stones to the open seas...now im getting emo...
i wander through my days
im paralysed inside....

haZwAn
8:55 PM

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

im digust at myself...
everything seems so wrong....
things wont go right...im a fool...
things would always turn out differently...
i always wonder wat it feel to be alone not having anybody to be there with u and for u...
well one ting for sure...im experiencing it rite now....n it is a major turbulent...
it jus me and i togheter.....sumtimes i think ppl dun really care....
they jus cant be bother......cant be helped..
need to learn to climb when u are in a deep shit....
need to pull myself out alone...but its really a plus point if somoeone out there jus reach it out for me....
but expect less frm others coz thats the wat tings are....
friends besides family are the most valuable assets...but it may not be always true...
ppl wont see the tings u do right...ppl would always see the tings u do wrong...
n dats the way tings are...
it is not a wise ting to do to hide behind a smile but sumtimes u cant really help...
sumtimes u wonder if u are doing the right ting....
trying to sought help?
ppl would give their best advice...
but when u act.....tings rather turn out bad..feeling sucky? or should i say shitty...
a major breakdown...sumtimes u feel u goin to burst...
or it jus a matter of time...
well...im a fool
n im taking my leave now...

haZwAn
10:57 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2005

12th feb 05...
went out hanging again to town with zid.nad.rai n umi...
went to a valentine event
a free movie screening at youth park held by perfect 10

nad n umi...

rai korek hidung den dier tgk berapa besar taik tu....
besar gak eh taik hidung ko....LoL

yazid showing off his digi cam...n his captain planet ring...

yazid happy.....coz he jus learn how to take a picture with his digi cam...

umi is so emo...coz she saw her crush with someone else....
she bloody emo dat nite

satu2 posing....

zid pun tgh emo on dat nite....

rai mkn choco with her eye close...increadible...how she does dat?

merci choco...

a grp photo..top from right to left..ros.amalia.nad
below..rai n umi...
umi still emo

haZwAn
11:13 PM

Friday, February 11, 2005

im getting fustrated n emo...
arghh...fuck me man...
its seem so boring everyday...

haZwAn
11:38 PM

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

went to werk yesterday...
bored at werk..got nuthing to do.....werking alone again...
jus me and the store.....closed at 6pm..becoz of the gong xi fa cai
den went to bk..where my fren werk...to have my dinner...
shopping centers seems so quiet....ghost town...

after eating wanted to go to esplanade alone..lol...im crazy..
den out of no where met rahman,zid,nad,rai,umi,amlia n wan...
bleh terserampak ni...lol
umi wore her tudung...kinda of funny...she the minah tudung with an evil mind...lol...
ya...they wanted to esplanating..wats dat supposed to mean...
join dem.....n sat there..play some games....wan coffeebean was blur all the way....
their frens join along the way...den some of us went home..dats bout it..malas ah nak tell full details...overall its a ok day...
abit of emo here and there....
ya..emo..shits

haZwAn
1:49 PM

Sunday, February 06, 2005

i tink im loosing my grip..
loosing every bit of it..
i cant tink straight..im going loose..
or im really loose..

learn to crawl before u walk
im got a hole in a my soul
should i blow out the flame...or it is still burning ?
im so dry...
im so pissed off..
i really wish i could be the someone..
living on the edge..light bulb getting dimmer...
complication- aggravation ?
shessh...im dull

haZwAn
10:48 PM

phewwwwwwww....
yesterday was a boring day..
everybody seems they got sumthing on... some ppl got no fare ..some ppl cannot go out...sheessh
lol...but its ok...
another day for me to go out alone...jeng jeng jeng...
so alone i went to town...but its a kinda off boring there...
i jus took a stroll in town...n had dis sudden urge to visit my work place..
so off i went to ct hall...

outlet seems so kecoh...
kak mimi..Dzul..kak hasnah n her children..Ana...n dis gurl which i dunno her name ..frm Funan Outlet...
we talk n talk...
help out kak mimi n dzul..to clear the stocks...on my off day..phew...
went off to Funan to blanja dzul n kak hasnah..
wanted to go to catch a movie..but got dis setan told me not to...
so my butt stay put in the outlet till the shop close...
ya..i eventually werk...without my uniform..kinda of cool....with slippers some more..lol
sales was ok...

ya..condoms seems to sell everyday...even lubricant...
the person who buy these stuff are usually mens in 50s..
which set me thinking..lol....the wild stuff...

den there dis customer ask me if we got sell any cigrattes....
and i say...cigrattes dun have...medicine have....the paiseh customer den jus left...
pure stupidity....since when Guardian a pharmacy store sell cigrattes....
.............
..........
....
...
...
...
...
...
dats iT

haZwAn
6:54 PM

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

im bloody bored.....
damn it.....
jus found out sumthing strange...
i lost my swatch watch...freaking mad thinking of it....
i dun remember when the last time i saw it...
i kept losing my watch since i was young.....cant keep count of it...
geeeEEee...shit man..i cant tell time......

i tink im goin to buy another pants...n mayb some tees...
n mayb some sweaters..or sneakers...a pro cam...
ya ...the list goes on n on...it never stops....
money is the factor.....

freaking bored !

haZwAn
11:39 PM

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

sometimes i feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear...
watever tomorrow brings..i"ll be there

well...skol is dull...everything so black n white...
lessons are shits...sickening timetable...
spent hrs at cb...our faces are like posters wanting free drinks...
make me so paiseh giler nak mampus sampai bleh mati....

anyway went to watch meet the fockers..
hell of a movie..one word to describe the movie...ASS HOoooLLEEeeeeee
on a serious note...it is a funny movie...hillarious..watever the spelling is....

well lets talk bout werk..ya get my pay 500 plus ...
a lum sum of money...but still i tink it so damn pathetic...
so little...wat can 500 buy u? jus a handful of tings..
well ......i have not spent my gaji yet...
but i left with only 100...actually less than 100...
200 goes to my mum...i luv u mum...lol...
150 to my bank..so dat my money can grow like a money tree...
so i came down to 150....
ya..150..
so shitty.....blanja mkn n stuff den left only 60 plus i tink...
500 is peanuts.....
money come..money go.......
my pay dis month will be like shits..coz i seldom go to werk...malas nak mampus
lol...i luv my work...feel like werking..i will werk...dun feel like werking den i dun werk...
go work do nuthing...read all those shity magazines........ppl like paying me for nuthing...
they are paying me and i m sitting around doin nuthing...wakawkkaw....

lets talk bout something else..

i found out sumthing frm my fren
sumthing which i tink is not important though...
but well...it set me thinking...
it really set me thinking....
arghh.....piece of shit...

haZwAn
9:45 PM